join me here and we will talk

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

cancer???is it the end...

And so because I was asked by the company to talk with the their doctor, I did not waste time. Even if it was a Saturday I went straight there first thing in the morning of the next day. I was really nervous but very impatient when I went to the office. I thought the employees noticed me being stressed and worn out.
The minute I arrived at the doctor's office I immediately asked for the result. I was asked to sit and listen carefully on his explanation. By then I started to panic. As if I really wanted to cry but no tears were falling. I felt my hand got colder and my cheeks hotter. I wanted to vomit or even pee.
The next thing I heard was that he was saying I have FIBROSIS on my upper right lung... I asked what is that? Is that related to the dreaded tubercolosis??? He then asked me if I even smoked during my entire 32 years. I said No but more often I can smell smoke. 2nd hand smoker I heard him saying that. My upper right lung is not functioning anymore--meaning it has died already. That could be the reason why I was having short breath or if I could smell smoke or if the area is not well ventilated, I find it real hard to breath. Then he explained everything which those everything I could not hear anymore because I wasn't listening at all. I thought of the kids. I thought of the wrong doings I have done in the past. Is this sickness the price I have to pay???

Sunday, July 4, 2010


May 28, 2010
I had to keep my cellphone open 24 hours a day since I signed the contract from the call center. By then I got real excited for the next step, the start of the training which was supposed to schedule on May 31st. they told me I should hear something from them today to know the details of my training(schedule etc.). and so I waited.
At 10am that day I received the long waited call from them. You should have seen my face. I was real excited.
Then the girl on the other line told me the "the big news"...
"Hello Ms....I regret to tell you that you will be rescheduled for the training since the results of your medical exams arrived yesterday and that there was something you need to discuss with the company doctor. Until such time that you can present a clearance that you are fit to work inspite of your negative results then we are afraid that we cannot include you on the next batch of training."
That was it.It was like a bomb has hit me. I didn't speak for awhile. I was trying to absorb all the details she was saying. But it was harder to believe.The more I try to convince myself that I still can do it the more it was hitting me that I didn't get the job.
How can it be possible??? The other day I signed the contract and now this somebody is calling me that it may be cancelled if I didnt do anything. Much worst it was because of the results of my medical exam. Goodness!!! What am I gonna do???